Just like an unpleasant roller-coaster, you know?
Times have been hard as never before.
Confusing, cruel, disturbing and everything bad that you can possibly think of.
Living with her has been harder than never and no matter how hard I try either to tell her that or to ease it, I fail. Always.
And the worst thin is the strange relation with them.
I don't know what happened, but they certainly lost interest or respect for the person who brought them together and made all the friendship stronger and meaningful.
Suddenly I just found myself completely alone and left aside for no reason. And, though I have all the reasons to push them away back, I'm always trying to keep us all together whenever it's possible. But this word sort of lost its meaning... because it appears it is no longer possible to hang out with them and share what we used to share and admire about ourselves. So, yeah, I'm completely sad and confused.
All I wanted was a little return from what I've been giving them all along. All I wanted was just someone to go with me, I'm tired of having to do things or go to places and events by myself. And I'm tired of having to say everyday everything's okay when they're not - and I can't even talk about it because there are things which you can only tell and express at its fullest when you look at someone's eyes and feel the comfort of their understanding.
I'm tired of this lack of human contact with the ones I love the most and to be forced to have this contact with someone who doesn't like care, doesn't even care about me, doesn't enjoy spending time with me, doesn't respect me and doesn't want me to actually be happy (and I carry the same feelings towards this someone).
So yeah, big frustrated, disappointed and sad, very sad.
And that's not fair.
I'm telling you, someday, I'm leaving and I'm never coming back.
You'll all regret it when it's too late and there will be nothing left to do - and I will not want to do anything about it.
